Injustice

So, let's talk about injustice.  I am a very noble person, I'll have you know.  I decided ages ago that Jesus did not want me to stand up for myself, so I would willingly and easily throw myself on the pyre of self-sacrifice in order to assure that none were turned away from Christ by my sinfulness.  You think that I jest, or am in some way snarky or resentful.  You would think wrongly.  I actually did make this decision, minus the nobility, and I stand by it.  Not, as the atheist, agnostic, or feminist out there would infer, because Christianity whips its subjects into submission.  No, I found that I am one of the most proud creatures on the planet, and in order to subvert my self-promoting desires, I have subjected by desires to constant discretion.  If I can't rationally support my desire, specifically from Scripture, then I tend to deny it.  This only comes into play with my pet sins, the ones I know are there and can't control easily: pride, for example.
I know; I'm digging myself a hole with the atheists, making myself sound like a self-deprecating self-hater.  You're wrong, of course, and most people struggle with varying degrees of this dichotomy.  Love myself/love others.  I admit it, because I start with the premise that all men are sinful.  You don't, because you start with the premise that all men are either neutral or good.  Fine.  We disagree.
Let's get back to the subject at hand.
It's all well and good to talk about suffering injustice for myself, but let me ask you: is it right and good to let another suffer injustice?  What if it's your job to teach that person about real life?  What if you know that life will bring injustice, because the world is sinful and human beings are in charge?  Do you just tell them to bend over and take it up the tailpipe?  Because, sometimes it feels like that.
Of course, I tell myself that God provides solace for us when we don't receive justice on earth, and I have seen it happen first hand.  I believe that God will provide solace and justice for those around me, though justice may take way longer than we want to wait.
So, I guess the reality is, I don't know when it's ever right to stand up for the weak.  If I do, am I taking the place of God in His role as bringer of justice and comfort?  Am I teaching those who look to me for wisdom that they must look to man for what only God can bring?  Am I really just standing up for them selfishly because of the pain I feel at their treatment?
Life is tough for everyone.  Life as a Christian is in some ways way tougher.  Fortunately, when the mean people say ugly things to us, we have the best Daddy in the world in whose arms we can always find refuge.  If I flub everything else, I hope I can at least teach them this truth.

Lessons Hard Learned

What is God trying to teach me that I still haven't gotten after 12 years?  For twelve years, almost every night, I kiss my kids goodnight, I hug them, trying to leave them with pleasant thoughts for their sleep, and for 12 years, they always find some excuse to come back downstairs and interrupt my nighttime routine.

What deep philosophical question can they ask me that will take twenty minutes to an hour to answer?
How can they annoy each other to the point that one hurts the other and they need my arbitration?
What can they break, forget, or remember that will require another hour of my time so that I might finally get to bed by one o'clock in the morning?

Can't they ever have these issues in the morning?

So, again I ask, what is it that God wants to teach me that I haven't learned 12 years later?  I wish he would just write it down for me so I could master it and move on to the next lesson.

See, one thing I know about myself is that I'm a really quick learner.  That was great in school, because I could rush through a lesson and then get on with my own agenda.  Even when I ran into a concept that I didn't understand, I did my best to fake it until the subject was over, and I could move on to something that I understood.  I was always really good at doing this.

In this case, though, I guess God isn't letting me fake this one, and if I had to guess, I would imagine that I could pinpoint at least part of this lesson.  First, this lesson has something to do with learning that it's not all about me, and I may never get to go to bed at a decent hour.  Who knew?  I might have to sacrifice my personal comfort as a Christian.

And secondly, I guess this lesson could also have something to do with gratitude; gratitude that says I would rather be kept up at night because I had too many kids who needed me than to go to sleep undisturbed every night because I had none.

Not everyone has kids, but everyone has a blessing that brings with it its own headaches.  What ease would I trade for my blessings?  Not one.

Realizing this, I just have to remember.

God is good, and He loves me.  And for now, that's the best lesson I can learn.

Random thoughts

Romans 14:12 So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.¹³Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this--not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way.


So, I went to a gambling party last night, something I've never done.  I had a blast.  As usual, though, I found myself in a position of judging people for judging people.

See, I have this personal weakness. (No, it's not gambling!)  I am an extremely tolerant person.  When someone approaches me and she or he has a personal struggle, there is very little that will shock or disgust me. Sure, I may hear something that surprises me or challenges my paradigms, but I have a very large capacity for absorbing what might on a visceral level disgust me and turning it into just another learning experience.

I like people.  I also recognize that the human heart is depraved, even mine, and we have a vast ability to create or incorporate novel methods of experiencing evil.  I also recognize that most people either don't recognize their actions as evil and therefore need my love and compassion or wish to escape an evil that has enslaved them and therefore need my love and compassion.

I get it.  People struggle, and we all need a lot of grace.

Being human and sinful, however, I have an end to my compassion, unlike God.

It ends when other people are judgmental.  So, does it make me the biggest hypocrite in the world that I feel an intense vitriol toward judgmentalism as a philosophy?  And that I feel a sort of disgust toward those who are judgmental?

If I were to explain my reasonings for this prejudice, they might make sense.  I, as a Christian, see regularly a world that flees from judgmental Christians.  When Christians look down their noses at people who sin, Christians give Christ a bad name.  Especially because Christians are sinners, too, and as my husband so aptly put it to me, everyone is a hypocrite.  So, when someone stands in judgment, that person is the ultimate hypocrite.

Case in point, when I judge other's judgmentalism, I'm being a hypocrite!  I think my head is spinning.

So my advice for both you and me is: lay off of other people.  We have plenty of sin in ourselves to focus on without wasting time feeling superior to others.  In fact, according to what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 4, we're not even supposed to waste too much time judging ourselves.

1 Corinthians 4:3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.

If we have the gall to judge someone else, then chances are, we've forgotten how incredibly grateful we should be to the God who has forgiven us so many sins that their number and type would shock the world if posted on the net for all to see.

So, remember gratitude to God.  And please don't judge me for judging you.  I'm working on it; I promise.