So, I have reluctantly entered the world of blogging at last.
I say "reluctantly" for several reasons.
Number 1, I feel rather egotistical thinking that anyone would really want to read what I have written. While part of me enjoys the thought, the larger part of me feels a visceral aversion to the voyeuristic tendencies of our culture. Not to get on a soapbox.
Number 2, I gave up journaling about the time I got married. When an idealistic youth, the beauty of my own thoughts often inspired me to write lengthy journal entries. (BTW, I often use sarcasm in my writing in case you don't catch it.) But as the darkness of real life overtook the shining brilliance of my childhood dreams, I often did not like my thoughts. My thoughts about God, my husband, my children, myself. Somehow writing down those thoughts meant I had actually had them, and for an idealistic person such as myself, having such uninspirational thoughts was unacceptable.
Number 3, I despise rough drafts. Almost every paper I ever wrote in school was a first edition. This oftentimes resulted in my getting abysmal grades on the editing portion of my paper while receiving glowing exhortations from my teachers about a "well-written, compelling paper." I just had trouble caring about "passive voice" and such. So I know I am doomed to have a slew of grammarians reading my thoughts thinking, "Oh, look how inaccurately she used the subjunctive mood in that sentence!" I extend my apologies now so I can get it over with.
And number 4, who in his right mind would welcome the scrutiny of telling all of his or her thoughts to a monstrous beast who would then shout them to the world? I personally don't want people to look that closely at me. I promise you, between sins, vices, and imperfections, there will be so much to complain about with me that there will probably be little room left to praise me.
But I guess that's okay. Because to tell you the truth, the reason I overcame my reluctance is that my only purpose for even existing is to show you and everyone else how great God is. And if you're too busy praising me, then there will be no time left for you to praise God.
Beyond my ego, my aversion, my laziness, and my fear, there is a perfect God who makes it all work anyway. So, here I am, blogging. Bring it on. Someday I have a feeling I'll look back and say I regret saying that. But someday after that, I'll look back again and say, "God got His, and He's got me. And that's all that matters."
I say "reluctantly" for several reasons.
Number 1, I feel rather egotistical thinking that anyone would really want to read what I have written. While part of me enjoys the thought, the larger part of me feels a visceral aversion to the voyeuristic tendencies of our culture. Not to get on a soapbox.
Number 2, I gave up journaling about the time I got married. When an idealistic youth, the beauty of my own thoughts often inspired me to write lengthy journal entries. (BTW, I often use sarcasm in my writing in case you don't catch it.) But as the darkness of real life overtook the shining brilliance of my childhood dreams, I often did not like my thoughts. My thoughts about God, my husband, my children, myself. Somehow writing down those thoughts meant I had actually had them, and for an idealistic person such as myself, having such uninspirational thoughts was unacceptable.
Number 3, I despise rough drafts. Almost every paper I ever wrote in school was a first edition. This oftentimes resulted in my getting abysmal grades on the editing portion of my paper while receiving glowing exhortations from my teachers about a "well-written, compelling paper." I just had trouble caring about "passive voice" and such. So I know I am doomed to have a slew of grammarians reading my thoughts thinking, "Oh, look how inaccurately she used the subjunctive mood in that sentence!" I extend my apologies now so I can get it over with.
And number 4, who in his right mind would welcome the scrutiny of telling all of his or her thoughts to a monstrous beast who would then shout them to the world? I personally don't want people to look that closely at me. I promise you, between sins, vices, and imperfections, there will be so much to complain about with me that there will probably be little room left to praise me.
But I guess that's okay. Because to tell you the truth, the reason I overcame my reluctance is that my only purpose for even existing is to show you and everyone else how great God is. And if you're too busy praising me, then there will be no time left for you to praise God.
Beyond my ego, my aversion, my laziness, and my fear, there is a perfect God who makes it all work anyway. So, here I am, blogging. Bring it on. Someday I have a feeling I'll look back and say I regret saying that. But someday after that, I'll look back again and say, "God got His, and He's got me. And that's all that matters."
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